Halford en The Advocate IV

You created an aesthetic in rock that attracts straight men too.
I guess that's true, because I met this guy recently, and he said, "When I was 13, I used to watch MTV, and you would be walking around in your leather stuff, and I'd always get an erection." A lot of men who are into leather are also into metal. They mayn't know they're gay until they see something that makes them feel hot.

Let me ask you about the anger behind all the heavy-metal raging. What is it an outlet for? What was Rob so angry about?
I think I was angry at myself. I thought that I was sexually dysfunctional, that I didn't fit in because I was still the gay man in an exclusively straight rock world. And I wanted to fit in, but I didn't want to fit in. It was confusing, and it was frustrating. And so it was great for me to have an opportunity to vent that way. I really don't know what I'd have done if I wasn't able to do that.

Now that you're out, will you miss screaming your pain away?
It's a relevant question, because I really get a lot of pleasure out of rip-roaring and screaming my head off. I recommend it to anybody. If you can't put it in words, then just let it come out that way. That's what people do at rock shows. They go crazy, you know, with mosh pits and screaming and knocking each other about--not in a destructive, violent way but in a cathartic way.
But now that I'm out about my homosexuality, I'm gonna be shouting my mouth off about having the same rights and being treated the same way as every other person on this planet. All of us are human beings, and we should not be denied the same kinds of things that the greater portion of straight society receives. That's got to be the next step on this journey for me. I'll stand up for it and make my voice heard for equal rights.

Do you want the right to marry?
Of course. There should not be a rule that says I don't have this right. It's so wrapped up in religion.

How were you raised with religion?
It wasn't really an important part of my life. You receive religious instruction in the U.K. schools--that's part of the curriculum.

What sent you on your spiritual journey?
Going through my sobriety stage, because I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been through 12 years now. I know what makes me tick, whereas before I was clueless.

What made you stop drinking?
It was a cataclysmic event. Most of the men I'm attracted to [even now] are straight men. The boy I was dating back then had a cocaine problem. We had one of those bombastic physical attractions, and there was a tremendous amount of violence. We used to beat the crap out of each other in the drunken and cocaine rages that we had. And one day we were fighting, and I left for my own safety and called a cab. As I was getting in the cab, he came up to me and said, "Look, I just want to let you know I love you very much." And when he turned away, I saw that he had a gun. Moments later he put the gun to his head and killed himself.

What's your biggest devil?
Jealousy. And yet I'm the classic dysfunctional jealous person because it's OK for me to mess around but don't you mess around.

Resumen Pegamin:

• El grito como catarsis
• Me siento más atraído por heteros que por gays
• Deje de beber cuando mi chico se suicidó momentos después de decirme que me quería